Every now and then you come across people who changes your life completely... I have always been hungry for knowledge, the same way I have always been fascinated by people who are such great teachers.
I remember when I was in college, I was asked by my professor to name a person that I admire the most. I had to pause for a few seconds and think of a person who has inspired me in such a life changing way. I couldn't think of anyone. How sad is that??? I don't know if my epxectations were just too high or I am just plain apathetic on what's going on around me.
About a few weeks ago, while I was in a talent planning meeting in our Market Office, we were asked what best describes a great leader. And instantly I said, he or she ought to be inspiring. I then talked about my very first Branch Manager. I have always been vocal about the fact that if not for her, I wouldn't be where I am now. She was the one who challenged me to prove what I am capable of doing and even after I have mastered my skill, she never stopped pushing me to become better. Everyday was another day to learn new things. It never felt like a routine. Everyday, I wake up excited to go to work because I look forward to what my teacher has for me.
And now, here I am. Still the same person who is hungry for knowledge. But there's no one there to teach me. Instead, I am now tasked to pass on my knowledge. But how much do I know? And how much can I share? Am I even qualified to be a teacher? This is the struggle I have to face every morning when I walk through the doors of my branch. No one knows it, no one sees it... that it kills me, each time that they take a piece me, when there's no one to add to the little that I have. I could only do so much. And I don't know everything. As the days go by, I slowly become obsolete. And that's the worse feeling ever... when you feel like you are no longer needed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I have been teaching for 25 years and inspite of that, I feel that half of those years were just my learning phase. Sorry but those were probably the years you were in Zobel hahaha. Neither do I have the training nor the skill to become a teacher. As a matter of fact, I was the nemesis of my teachers back in high school making my mom to quip "it's called karma" when she learned I was already a teacher.
ReplyDeleteNow that I am seven years shy of retirement, I still have doubts of how effective I had been with my students. So you see, it's just natural to feel like what you're feeling now. All you have to do is do what you think is best and you're okay. It's always fine working with a clear conscience.
Is it okay to link your blog with mine?