Weatherproofing

It has been months since the last time I have posted something here. But being that today was a really terrible one without a real obvious reason, I tried to be creative in making myself feel better and snap out of it. I found one of the books that I used to read and saw my notes on it. Surprisingly, it cleared my thoughts and decided that I should write about it.

What I came across was about "weatherproofing". The book explains that it's our neurotic tendency to look out for something that needs to be fixed or repaired, to keep an eye on flaws or imperfections and to think about what's wrong with everything and everyone which then leads us to fail in appreciating the beauty of what is there. I then remembered an episode in Sex and the City Season 2 called "The Freak Show" that shows a good example of this.

In that episode, Carrie dated three different men and ended up finding something "freaky" about each one of them that scared her away. But unexpectedly she came across a guy who seemed perfect and flawless. Fearing that she might just waste her next few months with a guy who would eventually end up being another freak like all men are, she started going through his apartment, his things trying to find out what's wrong with him only to realize that maybe there really wasn't. But by being caught by the guy who now thinks she is crazy, she managed to ruin what could have been a good relationship. How ironic, right?

More often than not, we fail to focus on what's good or beautiful in our lives. One bad day and we think it's the end of the world. I was asked by a few friends today how I was doing or feeling and I said, "It's just one of those days. I still have the rest of the year to enjoy. So one bad day is alright." We are too consumed by what's not right in our lives, what we are lacking or maybe all together thinking that things are just not good enough as it is. If we focused more on the good things in our lives, we would never stop smiling.

I don't even know what triggered this unnecessary now really silly mood swing. I've been extremely happy the last couple of months and I am not used to having a bad day, at least not anymore. Probably there's this fear inside of me that everything is too good to be true and as a way to protect myself from getting hurt or disappointed, I expect that something would go wrong. I now feel terrible for ever letting that cross my mind. There is no clear basis for that to begin with. Oh well! At least I have snapped out of it.

So I will go to sleep now, with full appreciation of what I have. I am grateful for the way things are in my life. Every now and then there will be bumps but it doesn't change the fact that life is beautiful especially if you found someone who is willing to go through this journey with you, good or bad, happy or sad. Besides, we are all little freaks and weirdos, it's a matter of finding someone who will just love that about you. =)